Little Johnny is a fictional character, a young boy who is the main character in many jokes on the internet. In most of these Little Johnny jokes, it’s about how he outsmarts people older than him, like his parents or his teacher. There are also quite a lot of green (slightly sexual humor or naughty) jokes involving Little Johnny. Sometimes, they are just old jokes that get modified a bit so they can pass as a Little Johnny joke.
In different parts of the world, Little Johnny has different names. For example, he is called “Jaimito” in Argentina, “Jasio” in Poland, “Klein Fritzchen” in Germany, and so on. In the Philippines, I’m not really sure, but it seems like we don’t have our own version of Little Johnny. We also have jokes that involve a young boy, but usually we use names like Juan, Pedro, Totoy, Boy, or Utoy.
Anyway, here are some Little Johnny jokes that I gathered from the internet. Happy Monday. Enjoy.
ano ang sinabi ni daddy kay yaya?
"Hey, Mommy," sabi ni Little Johnny. "Puwede mo ba ako bigyan ng 1,000 pesos?"
math jokes
Si Little Johnny ay pumasok sa kuwarto ng kanyang tatay habang ito ay nagtatrabaho sa kanyang computer.
bobo
Sinubukan ng isang bagong guro na gamitin ang kanyang kurso sa Psychology. Sinimulan niya ang kanyang klase sa pagsasabing, "Class, lahat ng nag-iisip na bobo sila, tumayo!"
para gumanda
Si Little Johnny ay nakamasid at nabighani habang ang kanyang ina ay nagpapahid ng malamig na cream sa kanyang mukha.
learning numbers
Tinanong ng guro si Little Johnny kung marunong siya sa mga numero.
Fascinate
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Urinate
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden he needed to go the bathroom.
Report Card
Little Johnny’s father asked to see his report card.
Making Faces
Little Johnny’s teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Little Johnny making faces at another child.
I Is…
Teacher: “Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter ‘I’.”
Using “Definitely” in a Sentence
The teacher was going over vocabulary in class and asked her students to use “definitely” in a sentence.
Nickel or Dime?
Some of the older neighborhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately.
I Like Your Thinking
One day in class the teacher brought a bag. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe something, and you tell what I'm talking about."
Baby With No Ears
Little Johnny’s neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
Can I Be Punished for Something I Didn’t Do?
Little Johnny asks his teacher, “Can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Candy Bars
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
H2O
What is the chemical formula for water?
Psychology
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
Why Are Periods So Important?
Little Johnny was sitting in English class when the teacher started talking about grammar.
My Dog
Little Johnny’s teacher said, “Little Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister’s.”
Concert Ticket
During a concert, Little Johnny is sitting in the front row, waiting for it to begin.