The teacher was going over vocabulary in class and asked her students to use “definitely” in a sentence.
Little Johnny was squirming in his seat when he suddenly blurted out, “Teacher, I need to go take a shit!”
She told him to sit down. “You can’t go to the bathroom until you use ‘definitely’ in a sentence.”
He thought for a moment, then said, “The sky is definitely blue.”
The teacher replied, “No, the sky isn’t really blue. Molecules in the air scatter light and just make it appear blue.”
He tried again. “I am definitely getting a puppy for Christmas.”
The teacher shook her head. “You might get a kitten or a gerbil instead, so you can’t say ‘definitely.’”
After thinking a bit longer, Little Johnny asked, “Do farts have lumps?”
Confused, the teacher said, “No, they don’t.”
Little Johnny grinned. “Then I definitely shit my pants.”