NOTE: To kick things off, this is one of my all-time favorite jokes.
Dencio had suffered from terrible headaches for the last 20 years.
Finally, he decided to see a doctor.
The doctor said, “Dencio, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is it will require castration. You have a very rare condition where your testicles press against your spine, and that pressure causes your headaches. The only way to relieve it is to remove them.“
Dencio was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he still had anything to live for.
With no other choice, he went through with the surgery, which cost him ₱900,000.
When he left the hospital, for the first time in 20 years, he had no headache. But he felt like something important was missing.
As he walked down the street, he realized he felt like a completely different person. Maybe this was his chance to start a new life.
He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, “That’s what I need… a new suit.”
He went in and told the salesman, “I’d like a new suit.”
The elderly tailor looked him over and said, “Let’s see… size 44 long.”
Dencio laughed. “That’s right! How did you know?”
“Been in the business 60 years,” the tailor replied.
Dencio tried on the suit and it fit perfectly.
As he admired himself in the mirror, the tailor asked, “How about a new shirt?”
Dencio nodded. “Sure.”
The tailor said, “Let’s see… 34 sleeves, 16-and-a-half neck.”
Dencio was amazed. “That’s right! How did you know?”
“Been in the business 60 years.”
The shirt fit perfectly.
Then the tailor asked, “How about some new underwear?”
Dencio said, “Sure.”
The tailor said, “Let’s see… size 36.”
Dencio laughed. “Ah ha! Got you! I’ve worn size 34 since I was 18.”
The tailor shook his head. “You can’t wear size 34. That would push your testicles up against your spine… and give you one hell of a headache.”