Teacher was going over words in class, and asked her students to use ‘definitely’ in a sentence.
Little Johnny was squirming, so he called out, “Teacher, I need to go take a shit!“
She told him to sit down. “You can’t go to the bathroom until you have used ‘definitely’ in a sentence.“
He thought about it, then said, “The sky is definitely blue.“
The teacher said, “No, the sky is not really blue. Molecules scattered in the air make it look blue.“
So he thought some more, then said, “I am definitely getting a puppy for Christmas.“
Teacher said, “You may get a kitten or gerbil for Christmas, so you can’t say you’re definitely getting a puppy.“
After a little more thought, he asked, “Do farts have lumps?“
She said, “No, they didn’t.“
So he replied, “Then I definitely shit my pants.“