Xi, the president of China, was sitting in his office when suddenly his phone rang.
“Hello, Mr. Xi!” said the voice on the other line. “This is Dencio, drinking in a bar here in the Philippines. I’m calling to tell you that I am officially declaring war against you!”
“Well, Dencio,” Xi replied, “this is very important news. How big is your army?”
“For now,” said Dencio after doing some calculations, “the army is me, my cousin Sean, my neighbor Seamus, and the whole darts team here in the bar. So… we’re eight in total!”
Xi paused. “You know, Dencio, I have 100,000 men in my army just waiting for my go signal.”
“Grabe!” said Dencio. “I’ll call you back.”
And sure enough, the next day Dencio called again. “Mr. Xi, the war is still on. We were able to get some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment do you have, Dencio?” Xi asked.
“Well, we have two harvesters, one bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor,” Dencio answered.
Xi sighed. “You know, Dencio, I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. And I increased my army to 150,000 after our last conversation.”
“OMG!” said Dencio. “I’ll call you again.”
Dencio called again the next day. “Mr. Xi, the war is still on! We now have air power! We mounted some shotguns on Jackie’s ultralight aircraft, and four more guys from the bar joined our army!”
Xi was silent for a few minutes, then said, “You know, Dencio, I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases have laser-guided surface-to-air missile systems. And after our last conversation, I increased my army to 200,000!”
“Hesusmaryosep!” said Dencio. “I’ll call you again.”
The next day, Dencio called once more. “Good morning, Mr. Xi! Sorry, but I want you to know that I will not continue our war anymore.”
“Really? I’m sorry to hear that,” Xi said. “Why did you suddenly change your decision?”
“Well,” said Dencio, “we had a long talk while drinking here in the bar… and we realized something important…”
“We cannot afford to feed 200,000 prisoners of war.”