For the chronically absent employee:
“A man like him is hard to find.”
“It seemed his career was just taking off.”
For the office drunk:
“I feel his real talent is being wasted here.”
“We generally found him loaded with work to do.”
For an employee with no ambition:
“He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in.”
“You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you.”
“He consistently achieves the standards he sets for himself.”
For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:
“I can assure you that no person would be better for the job.”
For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:
“I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment.”
“All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate, nor recommend him too highly.”
North of Nowhere
Fascinate
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
The Pope and Limo
After loading all of the Pope’s luggage into the limo (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
dalawang kahilingan
Isang lalaki ang pumasok sa isang restaurant at may kasunod siyang isang ostrich.
South of Somewhere
A dad joke isn’t supposed to make people laugh. The actual goal is to cause a collective, agonizing groan that is loud enough to rattle the windows of the house.
I can remember every single word to a random, obscure one-hit wonder from 1998, but I cannot for the life of me remember why I just walked into the kitchen.
That split second of sheer panic after you click a link at work, just praying it isn’t an auto-playing video of something you’d rather not explain to your boss.