- Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love, and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
- Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”
The other asks, “Are you sure?”
The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.” - A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
- A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
- A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
- A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer, please, and one for the road.”
- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says, “Does this taste funny to you?”
- “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’”
“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“It’s Not Unusual.” - Two cows stand in a field. Daisy says, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
“I don’t believe you,” says Dolly.
“It’s true – no bull!” - An invisible man marries an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at either.
- Deja Moo: the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
- A man brings his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog is cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do?”
The vet examines the dog and says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What? Because he’s cross-eyed?”
“No, because he’s really heavy.” - Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. There are five people in my family, so it must be one of them… but I’m pretty sure it’s my brother Calvin.
- I tried to buy camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
- I bet the butcher $50 he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”
- A man wakes up in a hospital and shouts, “Doctor, I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor replies, “I know. You don’t have arms.” - I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
- Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were cold, so they lit a fire. The kayak sank, proving you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
North of Nowhere
demonyo
Isang mahirap na pastor ay nagalit nang makausap niya ang kanyang asawa na may ipinakitang resibo para sa isang ₱15,000 na damit na binili niya.
Pimples
Oh bakit ka umiiyak? (Oh, why are you crying?)
Dalawang Lasing
Narito ang isang classic Pinoy joke tungkol sa dalawang lasing na naglalakad sa kalsada. WARNING: Bawal basahin habang kumakain ng tsokolate.